Music Box

Growing up around music, it was common place to hear music from eight tracks, albums, and my Dad belting out the “oldies” while playing his Fender Jazzmaster electric guitar in our home. Regularly my parents would take us to my great grandparents home where they would do what they called “pickin’ and grinnin’” filling the home with the sounds of guitars, singing, clapping, and of course food.

At times my cousins and I would play board games or go sit on the porch. There was always a swing out front and rockers in the back. Though that old house is no longer there, in my mind’s eye, I could walk right in through the swinging door, hearing and smelling everything just as I remember. My great grandfather, sang several songs with my Dad and my Granny. I always loved it when he sang “The Crawdad Song” known for the lyrics “you get a line, I’ll get a pole.“ There was also another one I always loved called “Just Waitin’ for a Train.” My cousin Jennifer and I were so accustomed to the way things went that we did not realize when Dad and Daddy Paul were tuning their guitars to each other (no special electronic tuning devices back then!) that it was not an actual song! I can remember Jennifer and I sitting in the back of a truck changing our vocal pitch up and down until we matched each other perfectly like we had heard them do with their guitars!

Another song that my Daddy Paul (my Great Grandfather) sang regularly was “You are my Sunshine.“ I don’t really remember hearing him sing it, but I was told that he did and I guess it was etched into my soul. As my Rachel lay in ICU sedated, intubated, and ventilated, when I was given the chance to speak on that special phone to her or through zoom I made sure to add “You are my Sunshine“ to my repertoire for her. In fact, the very first time the hospital broke protocol and allowed me in during lockdown, as I began to sing that song, the charge nurse quickly turned away and disappeared in tears. This was not her first rodeo. She knew how things were going to end. I of course, was full of “faith over fear“ and had absolutely ZERO idea, my daughter was not going to walk out of that hospital.

After Jesus took my Rachel by the hand to walk her into heaven instead of back to her home or mine here on this earth, I was given many remembrance gifts in honor of her which I dearly treasure. Two were small musical boxes that played “You are My Sunshine.” Honestly I could not handle hearing the entire melody. It was just too painful. I kept the boxes closed, so no one else that saw them would attempt to turn the handle and play the melody. But then Abigail found them last night. I believe I was in the kitchen when she found them and I could hear the beautiful melody begin to play. I did not tear up. I did not cringe. In fact, I felt like I was smiling inside! God knew there was absolutely no one on this earth that could have played that music box other than this little angel masquerading as a little girl possessing 23 chromosomes of my Rachel.

So today I have both music boxes open so when she gets out of school, she is welcome to play them if she chooses. Life really does go on after someone we love so deeply passes into eternity, even if at times we prefer it did not. I believe  that is just what happened—life did not end. Life literally passed into eternity. Who am I to keep someone as precious as Rachel‘s daughter from enjoying those music boxes? In fact, I might have to help her learn the lyrics of the song, breaking the protocol of grief and opening wide the possibilities of joy! “Now glory be to God, who by His mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of—infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes.” Ephesians 3:20 Living Bible.

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