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BREAKING PROTOCOL
-Our Journey of Sunflowers and Rainbows-
August 19, 2021, was the last day I ever anticipated walking into a hospital. That was the day my Rachel left this earth and went to heaven. In a millisecond, my life went from being a Mother of four to becoming a Mother of three. After being called by a nurse and told that if we would like to come say goodbye, this would be a good time, my world changed completely. By far, this was the most difficult thing I had ever experienced in my entire life. Granted I mustered the courage through the Lord to drive into the hospital parking lot twice since that horrible day to pray, I NEVER planned to go back into a hospital….ANY hospital.
Parishioners from our Church were at times hospitalized but either I handled food going to their homes or my husband did the visitation. It was just a place I could not go physically, mentally, or emotionally. I was literally paralyzed with the fear of returning to that “place” I was on August 19, 2021. At the time of this writing, Rachel has been gone just a bit less than three years. Since then I had been a guest speaker at local venues, our local Church, for ladies meetings, and conferences in Michigan, Maryland, and in Orlando. Sharing our journey became cathartic for me and others seemed to receive. I began to feel stronger. I knew I was healing. Then a parishioner was hospitalized, sedated, intubated, and placed on a ventilator.
Struggling with the decision to go to visit her in the hospital suddenly seemed like something I was compelled to do. One evening while watching a program about verified supernatural healings and the importance of only positive things being spoken around the patient regardless of their consciousness, I felt sad. I was sad that I wasn’t there to advocate more for my Rachel. I was sad that I wasn’t there to physically pray for her. I was quickly reminded how this was during Covid Protocol and NO ONE was allowed to go in to see their hospitalized family members. And then the Lord reminded me of Lisa. Lisa was a parishioner during this time who was a custodial employee of the very hospital my daughter was at…..she had access to my daughter! Lisa was a Holy Spirit filled Christian woman that took it upon herself to enter Rachel’s room every shift she had. While there she would pray over my daughter fervently. At one point a nurse called to tell me about this and make sure I was okay with it. I assured her that I knew exactly who this employee was and she was more than welcome to pray over my daughter!
When leaving Church the night after watching that program I saw two family members of the woman now on the ventilator. Sheepishly, I told them I was thinking of visiting her and asked their permission. They quickly agreed and I quickly regretted having said anything. As habit I read the Scripture verse of the day. The very morning after I asked the family about visitation and later wished I hadn’t, the very verse for me was Isaiah 6:8 “Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us? And I said ‘Here I am. Send me.'” Talk about confirmation! I knew without any hesitation now that I was supposed to go see this lady, ventilator or not.
Getting ready to leave, Jeff walked in the door asking where I was going. When I told him he informed me that I probably wouldn’t want to go. Evidently he had just left the hospital where the sights and sounds of a person sedated, intubated, and on a ventilator were all too familiar. He was concerned that all this “progress” I had experienced would go backward when I walked into the room. I was determined and absolutely undaunted. I armed myself with my Bible and my “healing notebook.” My healing notebook is a three-ring binder filled with a Joyce Myers PDF of healing Scriptures, faith building statements, and my own personal notes that God helped me come to realize.
I got to that hospital a bit faster than I anticipated but had asked for special prayer from some trusted people. Honestly, as I walked into the hospital I had no fear, no hesitation, and found myself carrying my bag like an attorney. I was going in to state my case to this woman and I was convinced that her spirit could hear me. Truthfully, had I waited even a few seconds, I might have begun to experience anxiety and panic symptoms. Instead, I grabbed a chair, perched myself right beside her and told her brother that if he wanted to go back to the lobby to eat with his family, go ahead.
Filled with courage and purpose I spoke directly to the woman, stroked her arm and forehead, read Scriptures to her, prayed over her, and even sang to her. At several points during my visit nurses came in only to stop in the doorway. I knew that where this room was positioned in ICU everything could be seen and heard so there was no holding back. After a while, the woman’s family joined me. It was then I felt released to leave.
Now I would love to tell you that this lady was instantly supernaturally healed right in front of me but what I can tell you is that a new level of healing DID HAPPEN….it happened to ME! I remembered how my friend Jennifer told me “maybe this is for your healing Angie.” I appreciated that but truly could not fathom it. My Rachel, my firstborn, was dead. She was not coming back and this was part of my “new normal.” Little did I know what God had in store.
Leaving the hospital I made sure to speak again to the lady at registration, not just small talk, but to offer to pray for her and invite her to our Church. I walked back to my car with my head held high. As I drove away I began to thank God out loud in my car for allowing me to go see this lady and pray for her. As I did, I became so filled with His joy, I literally began laughing and even clapping my hands. In this act of obedience that God prepared me for, He took me even deeper in my own healing.
Rachel's Voice 