BREAKING PROTOCOL
-Our Journey of Sunflowers and Rainbows-
I would like this blog of BREAKING PROTOCOL to allow my husband’s words to flow. Thank you Sweetheart for allowing me to share. I will love you forever Jeffrey
The most theological altering moment of my like was when God decided to heal Rachel on the other side of this present world. In spite of all the fasting, prayers, righteous living, nothing changed His will for her. Expectation was lost, darkness invaded, and the Faith I thought I had was being stripped away by every thought that began to form in my mind as to why the Lord ignored our cries. I was in a dark place. People reminded me of sermons I’d preached… the things I said, the lessons illuminating from the Scriptures months, even weeks before Rachel was no more in this place we forget is not our home. I began to see things differently, God was different..no longer what I created in my mind based on human deficiency. He didn’t act how I perceived Him to act based on scriptures I selfishly define to meet my desires and my will. You know, I am not alone in this. I’ve been in church much of my life, heard thousands of messages, preached countless myself and one thing is consistent and that is we are not as divine as we think we are. In this theological crises, I am not alone. I see the prayers when a loved one has fallen ill, the cries to God to heal and so often, they are no longer struggling in this life. Death has paid a visit, and the vicious cycle continues. Faith is challenged, expectations crushed, and we trust God to pick up the pieces, and maybe He will fill in the blanks for us…. Or is it possible He has already?
I am forever changed as well as much of what I understood about God. It is so true when He says, “My Ways are not your ways”. That in itself is enough for me to reconcile that the problem was never the Lord and His Word, but the lens I was looking through was narrow and limited to a theology that I thought I understood.
Today, I have a fresh revelation of Him that would never be possible if I wasn’t thrust into the abyss of great loss. I could see the faint light above, drawing me to climb up and out into a whole new world of wonder. Today I see farther and clearer than ever before. I see beyond this life into the place, that I will one day, call “Home”.
“Precious in the sight of the LORD is the DEATH of his saints.” – Psalm 116:15
Rachel's Voice 