BREAKING PROTOCOL
-Our Journey of Sunflowers and Rainbows-
Originally written 11-18-22
By: Angie Jennings
As I walked into the Tea Room restaurant I quickly glanced around to see if the lady I was meeting for lunch had arrived. Evidently I beat her to the restaurant so I was able to choose which room we would be in. Each individual room was decorated in a particular theme so I chose the “butterfly room“ because of all the times I had been there, this was one room I had not sat in. Once I secured my table, I walked to the ladies room and quickly found I was not emotionally prepared for this. Everything seemed as though time had stood still from the previous time I had been there, right down to the wallpaper, chandelier, and salt hand scrub to indulge in. A wave of emotions went over me and I found I was having a hard time not beginning to cry. I had been here many times meeting with other ladies whether it was to get to know someone better, to say a special goodbye to a friend who would be moving, or to renew a relationship; however, this was one place Rachel always wanted me to take her and I never did. It was not that I did not want to take her but there always seemed to be “time” to do it another day.
The crazy thing is that almost everywhere I go locally there are memories of Rachel with me because we did almost everything together. This made me feel wrong and almost disloyal because when she absolutely could not come to the Tea Room because she was in heaven, I still came. It may sound silly but I actually took a picture there in that ladies room before I went back to my table in the “butterfly room” to wait for my guest.
For South Florida it seemed unusually chilly, another thing I had not anticipated, so I ordered hot tea to help warm up. Trying to take my mind off things, I arranged my cup, pot of hot tea, and honey to take another picture. Then I noticed the music—an instrumental version of the song “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perry was piping through the speaker. At this point I was not sure what to do-I really thought I was going to lose it. You see, that was the very song Rachel chose to be her non-traditional “wedding march“ song for her Dad, Jeff Jennings, to walk her down the aisle to her Groom, Fabio Lam. Truthfully it took a little bit but I allowed a calmness to envelop me. No, I do not believe that Rachel was with me but I do believe that the Lord allowed that song to come through the speaker at that moment in time because I needed to be there and as guilty as I felt for being there without my Rachel, a part of her will never leave me. Very shortly after this song finished, my lunch date arrived. Again I realized that the precious moments alone I had were not a coincidence but indeed from God to reassure me.
I had reached out to the lady I was meeting because I was desperate to speak to someone who had lost a daughter seemingly in the prime of her life. I knew this lady was a Holy Spirit filled Christian. I trusted her. As we begin to share with each other about our experiences I got aggravated with the young adults who happened to be seated within earshot of us that continued to use profanity. It felt like a violation. I wanted this to be such a special meeting and not one to hear these people continue using the “F word.” I mentioned this to my friend and she immediately prayed. Although the younger people did not change their vernacular much at all, my attitude did. In fact, it softened. But I am human. At one point of an “F word” my eyes immediately met the eyes of the offender. He immediately said “oh my bad.” Embarrassed a little bit, I apologized for my sharp a look and explained the meaning of my meeting. Immediately a young man with his back to us turned around and informed us his Mom had died last week. And at that point, my spirit really softened. My friend and I continued our conversation after expressing condolences to him but I hoped this was going to be a Divine Appointment.
I could barely wait for this group to leave, and not to get rid of them but because I really wanted to speak to this young man. As it turned out, he was the last one to walk out so I stood up. He came to me and expressed condolences for our losses. I couldn’t help myself and immediately reached over to hug him. He could have been my son! I noticed that one of the things they said was about Florida City. So while I had him in a tight hug I told him that we Pastored a church there. I described where our church was and he seem to acknowledge that he knew the location. My friend and I were able to pray for this young man and get contact information if he needed someone to talk to, pray with, or just cry on the shoulder. He seemed so appreciative.
I now felt victorious! The enemy tried so hard to hit me with condemnation and guilt for having not taken Rachel to this Tea Room. Honestly there was a point when I wanted to bolt right out of that place but when that song began that was in her wedding, there was no way I was going to get up then. Quite honestly maybe the enemy was trying to pound my heart and head with that as well but Jesus turned it around. He kept me where I needed to be so I could hear my precious friend’s heart as well as this young man. I barely made it out to my car before calling my Mom to tell her all about this—after all, she knew where I was going and why. Before I got to the restaurant she even prayed for me over the phone and reminded me “Angie, remember this is your ministry.“ Pondering this encounter I remembered the Scripture “But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day” (2 Peter 3:8 ESV). Oh my word! How appropriate! Any song could’ve piped through that speaker but as I am growing through this grief, the Lord chose to use my daughter’s wedding march song, “A Thousand Years” to remind me of His goodness. 
Rachel's Voice 